You can’t be “fair and balanced.” You can only be fair or balanced. To be fair is to tell the truth; to be balanced is to tell a truth, tell a lie, and then let the public determine which is which — and this, of course, isn’t fair to anyone.
— James Randi, on the portrayal of pseudoscience and science in the media.

Diamond in the Rough.

I was inspired by the "Ugly Duckling to Beautiful Swan" thread over at Soompi Forums to make this blog post. Also by the Boulou Boulou post about teenage dreams. (I'd link them, but I'm kinda lazy... Google is your best friend?)

But then I realised, I never really considered myself an ugly duckling. In elementary school, I was bullied by so-called 'friends' (children are f'cking vicious) and kinda rejected. I didn't really have any close friends. Rather than feel like it was my fault though, and rather than feeling down on myself, I started watching my little classmates. I knew, absolutely knew that others were not prettier and smarter than me. I started watching my classmates, and realised that those who were more "popular" and didn't get teased were the ones who were more bossy, more confident.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, little Cyn, at f'cking 10 years old, discovered what all these behavioural psychologists with Ph. D. discovered.

So entering high school, I resolved to fake confidence (my thought process at the time was that, if I didn't have enough knowledge/smarts to be confident, neither did these other kids. Yeah, I do have a bit of an ego and a superiority complex) in order to stop the bullying and teasing. It worked (if Zuuchini really believed what she said she did in her blog post, then I guess my fake confidence really did work!!)

But yea, though I may have been cute in elementary school, something happened in high school. I didn't look that great, but HONESTLY, I don't think I looked that bad. I'd look in the mirror and, yeah, I didn't look like a movie star, but somewhere deep inside me, I never believed I looked ugly. I just never thought words like "beautiful", "stunning", or even "pretty" applied to me.

I was never the type to give half a shit about what I was wearing (still kinda wish I didn't, but social norms do prevail in my choosing a wardrobe) and when I look at old pictures of me, it kinda shows a lot.

I don't know when the transformation to "swan" began. But probably on entering college, and realising that people (guys, namely) actually judged you on your appearance (thanks to a good guy friend). Between high school and college/now, I probably lost about 20 to 30 pounds (not that I really paid attention to that, I never thought I was fat, or needed to lose weight until recently.. like after my weight loss. How ironic is that?) and now spend anywhere from 20 to 30% of my income on material goods that make me supposedly "look better". What do you think? Worth it?

2005

2010

Personally, I'm a bit bothered by the fact I put so much emphasis on my looks now. It's something that I shouldn't be spending 20 to 30% of my income on (makeup, clothes, jewelry, whatever else...) when it's not something that's majorly responsible for my boost in self-confidence... (explained below).

In terms of emotionally/psychological development that came along at the same time as the physical development, I'm a lot less shy. I was a f'cking shy kid (I remember I wouldn't even say the word "fuck" in elementary school... vs. now, I'm swearing every two sentences; this blog post is proof) and wouldn't even talk to people out of necessity. Now I'm just babbling away. I'm still a bit shy and nervous when having to ask for something, but it's buttloads from how I'd been as a kid. I also think (or rather, I'd like to think) that my confidence has matured to the point that I don't need to flaunt it. On the whole I feel as though I'm a better person, but I do believe that only maybe 10 to 20% of my confidence comes from an improvement of my looks. The majority of it (maybe 40 to 50%) comes from better support from a larger network of friends/family/acquaintances; another big part of it comes from acquiring experience from a job (20 to 30%). Interacting with a wide range of people makes you realise that even though some people do judge you by appearances, there are many, many more who just don't give a shit if you look average or beyond. This belief is at the core of my understanding of social interactions and I behave in consequence (by not giving a shit either and placing myself squarely in the "average" category), so it inevitably throws me off when people remark on how good I look or say that I am pretty/beautiful/hot, etc.

I'll admit that I'm a bit of a feminist, and I don't think that a woman can (or should) attract a man just by virtue of being 'hot', 'sexy' or 'cute'. I model myself after the woman who can do things by herself, knows when and how to get dirty, and is not afraid to roll with the guys and even beat them at it. So that, I would consider my biggest change from high school 'til now: I ain't a damsel in distress anymore, but a worthy sidekick to help you navigate your adventures... and maybe even steal your limelight ;)

Fuck, I'm just rambling now. This post jumps all over the place.

F21 Shopping Haul

My newest obsession is FOREVER21 (haha, YES, call me the slowest bloomer ever, but I JUST found out how nice their stuff is!)

My good friend bought the cutest hairband from them AND so I decided to go take a look at what other stuff they had. I ended buying a cute lil' hair accessory and a cute top as well:

(Click the picture to enlarge it)
A flower headband! I was trying to decide between a white one or a black one... Maybe I will go back for the white one... it was so nice too...


Cute top:
I fell in love with the big bow on the shoulder. Soo cute!!


And I'm probably going to wear it with a cute belt like so :D

Ack! Now I gotta stop shopping or else I will never be able to stop... Guhhhhh... o_o;;

Composting.

At the request of my bff over at Boulou Boulou, I'll be chronicling the progression of my newly instated compost bin.

(Image to the left) I've chosen to place my compost bin near the backyard shed. That way, it's not too far from the tools (when I need to aerate the compost) and it's not too far from the kitchen door, making it easier to take out the compost bucket in the kitchen. :)

Before installing the compost bin on this spot, I dug up the weeds (I would've dug up the grass too, had there been any) and turned over the soil. Turning over the soil makes it easier for the bacteria and the worms from the ground to get to the compostable material! (Just as an fyi, there is no bottom to the bin, allowing for the organisms in the soil to get to the compost) Urgh, toiling in the soil on a hot, humid day!! But I rewarded myself with a cold shower and some ice cream. Yum!



A compost bin is not necessary to make compost, but living in a residential area, it may be better to have some sort of bin or little shelter for the compost, for the neighbors as well as to prevent animals (squirrels, raccoons, skunks, etc...) to get at your food wastes!


(Image to the right) I put a layer of tree branches and sticks for better aeration of the compost pile (though I may have not put enough...) and piled on a bunch of "brown" compost matter above. Seeing as I'm starting this compost bin in summer and there aren't a whole lot of "brown" matter around, I added things that may have been more "green" (e.g. grass clippings, and dried green leaves).

Anyhow, I think I'll add in some newspaper clippings to bring up the amount of "brown" materials.

So anyway, the whole thing about the "brown" and the "green" materials is quite simple. There's two major elements that are crucial to the process of composting: carbon and nitrogen (three, I guess, if you count oxygen!) Materials that are high in carbon are "brown" materials and they are things like branches, the dried leaves you pick up in autumn, newspaper, paper, etc. Materials that are high in nitrogen are "green" and they're things like your fruits and vegetable scraps, grass clippings, basically "green" and alive things (speaking about plants, of course). It's good to have about 50-50 of brown and green materials. And once you know that, well, all you have to do is every time you add in some scraps, just add in a layer of dried leaves, or newspaper clippings (if you didn't have the foresight to collect them in autumn and store them!) It helps you to keep the ratio of green/brown balanced, helps to keep the layers well mixed AND it's better to keep the scraps not at the top (since the middle/bottom decomposes faster than the top, and the point of the compost is to decompose the food waste, right!?)

So there you go, an informative post, with pictures to track my composting progress! I'll let you know if bugs suddenly grow in the compost pile, or if something else equally crazy happens!!



Credits: I reviewed many sources before starting this composting project! Here are some links for you if you would like to start composting as well!

http://www.helpfulgardener.com/ The forums section is very helpful, with many experienced gardeners sharing their tips and insights!

http://supercompostingtips.com/ As the title of this helpful blog suggests, these are some super composting tips!! ;) Very well written and informative blog with information about hot and cold composting, as well as vermicomposting!

Backyard Magic - The Composting Handbook -- This is the New Brunswick gov't guide to composting, a basic overview of the composting system! A good read if you're absolutely new to composting, as I was! :)